I Will Always Have Hope

I watch as the sky burns pink as the sun peaks over the distant horizon. Clouds scatter high and I know we only have mere minutes to enjoy this before the pink fades into mornings pale blue hue.

I’m lost deep in this moment as I walk along side my son, venturing out on our morning walk. We speak of colors and birds, the leaves fading from green to red as golden yellow leaves crunch below our feet. Immersed in this moment, all else is alright in the world.

Yet sadly, deep down, I know that’s the furthest thing from the truth. This world, as beautiful as it is, in the pure comfort and simplicity of nature, is as cruel and disheartening as it’s become. Not that this world wasn’t cruel years and years ago. My mom tells me how her mother, my grandma, debated even having children because how bad things had become. 76 years later my mom speaks of this world, telling me about the recent biggest mass shooting in American History.

I will be completely honest, I don’t watch the news. I might watch a clip of something here and or there on YouTube or I might read something from another blog that’s news related, but I definitely don’t turn on the TV and sit and watch the news. I grew up with both my parents glued to it first thing in the morning and the last thing at night. As positive of a childhood as I was raised in, the tone of the news brought fear in me….exactly as is meant to. Hearing so much negativity turned me away from my beliefs all could be alright with the world. Yet still, I clung to the words of the Beetles and was drawn to the images of the 60’s and 70’s where it seemed there were those moments where so many lived as one big happy family. That was all fantasy in my mind as each and every one of us know that was, and still is, the furthest thing from the truth.

Yet as a young girl, hearing the bad and the dangers all seemed so far away to me then. It all seemed so fixable. Yet fast forward 10, 20 years later as I’ve heard and seen all that goes on, it is more than clear this world not only has some very selfish souls, but it has become powered by greed. These things obvious for years but never did it hit home as much as it has in the last ten years of my life. It once seemed some major tragedy would strike a few times a year, enough time in between where people would settle again, recover or have space while grieving from losing a loved one. Yet now it almost seems like it’s Every. Single. Day.

I simply can’t fathom this. I can’t fathom this greed, this destruction, these disheartening stories of people killing people, mistreating animals, torturing children. I can’t grasp the concept of people destroying their own hometowns, much less dedicating their lives to destroying the lives of others.

It’s a battle in my own head. The negativity and pain people hold or put off on others compared to the other extreme, the sheer immense beauty our world holds…open for each and every one of us to take advantage of.  It’s a battle of the two extremes trying to win a bigger space in my mind.

I have always realized how fast life goes. Yet especially after having a child of my own, I realize more than ever… life is short. It’s so, so short. I fear for my son, just as my grandmother feared for what lied ahead for her children. I wonder if bringing another child into this world is wise, the same way my grandmother wondered.

Yet as bad as this world gets, I still have hope. I have always had hope. I have hope in not obviously changing the world as a whole at once, but in helping individuals who could use some hope themselves…individuals who could use some inspiration in their life.

No matter how bad this world gets, there are still pockets where no evil seems to have found. There are still places in nature where not a soul resides, where you can just go to sit…to just ‘be’. Places like that can clear your mind, help you find yourself again and help you connect. There are vast open spaces that can help you ground yourself. The homes we live in, the places we stay, they can be transformed as well. The places we live can be created to bring a sense of peace to our minds and to our lives.

So although the world seems to be falling apart all around me, I take my son’s hand and show him the good in the world. I show him the beauty that remains. I speak to him about the power of opportunity and possibilities in this big vast world.

He hears me, yet at the same time he’s 4. He agrees with me yet his mind quickly races off to the next thing that catches his eye. He’s happy, curious, enthusiastic and optimistic. Most 4 years olds are. The challenge is having positive power flow throughout not only childhood, but for a child’s entire life. That is a challenge in anyone’s life…keeping positive power flow even when the world gets you down.

There are many things in the world that are way beyond anyone’s control. Yet there are many things that are within our control that can completely change our lives. There is no one size fits all answer out there. Sadly, to have everyone coexist on this earth with world peace will never happen, but putting a better version of ourselves out into the world can happen. Putting a better version of yourself out into the world, and if you have children, teaching them at an extremely young age to grow a deep love for nature and just to love instead of hate will make a better world in general.

It sounds too easy, it sounds so cliché, but it’s so true. Teaching children young to appreciate the little things, the power of nature, the good in the world will help guide them throughout their entire lives. Clearing our own headspace and grounding ourselves again will help us slow down and realize life is here and now. It’s not about what other’s have that you don’t. It’s about finding your ‘why’ in your own life and embracing it. It’s about putting your best self out there yet never doing so at others expense. Life is about so much, whatever you want it to be… but your life pursuits should never be at other’s expense. Sadly we see much of that.

As I walk with my son, my mind quiets in the gentle breeze and the warm morning sun. I need this time outside. My son needs this time outside. Who knows what lies ahead in the day, but we have this moment here and now. I’m grateful for it. I’m deeply inspired by it…by moments like this. Even now in my late, late 30’s I’m still figuring myself out, my ‘why’ in life, and how…no matter how small…how I can help make this world just a little bit of a better place.