When Was the Last Time?

He rests his little hands under his head as he lays sleeping. His breath is silent, yet I can see the steadiness of it from the rise and fall of his chest. God, he is beautiful. So innocent, his life completely in my hands. His health, safety, and happiness are the most important things to me. This boy, man, I could just stare at him for hours. Yet it’s late, so I’ll slip my arm under him as he rest his head upon me. I can’t wait until morning, as this black sky gives way to dawn’s light, because I can’t wait to see this little boy’s smiling face. I can’t wait for another chance to tell him how much I love him.

To all you mama’s and daddy’s out there with a small child…or a child of any age…take a moment to watch them sleeping. Hold them in your arms when you can. Sit with them, lay with them…hold them close in any way you can. This world is rough, yet know for that moment they are safe right there in your arms. Take a deep breath and remember those moments. Lock them away in your heart. Realize there will be a day that will come along and you will look back and suddenly realize and ask yourself…’When was the last time I held my son or daughter?’ When was the last time I kissed them or laid with them or read them a good book?’

Many of us don’t know the answer to this question because we don’t really think about it until we realize it’s been a while. I know... because I’ve been there. I know because we don’t usually think about it being the last time, nor would we even realize it is until we look back. It’s not like you’re going to say…'this is the last time I will hold you beside me in bed'. Or 'this is the last time I am going to hold your hand.’ It just is and then time goes on at the same pace it always does and you look back thinking…when was that last time? I ask myself this only to be left wondering. ‘When was the last time I nursed Dylan to sleep? When was the last time he took a nap? When was the last time he used his baby sippy cup before moving on to a regular glass or sat in his stroller or needed me to lift him into the Jeep? When will be the last time I see his little fingers wrap around a flower? Or when will be the last time he touches his trains or dinosaurs?' It's painful for me to even think of for it's his entire world now. And now....now I am left wondering...'When was the last time Dakota just crawled without attempting to take a step, for now he is full blown running. When was the last day he seemed more like an infant to suddenly, like over night, a little toddler. I don't know. I will never know, for much of it I don't even remember it being the last...it just was.

Cherish the now. Cherish the moments you have with your children because just like everything in life, there will be a last time and unfortunately that ‘last time’ comes sooner than you’d think.