My little guy is totally into ocean life, so we’ve been reading a lot of books about the ocean, particularly a lot of books about octopus and squid. A few months ago we were reading as we always do before bed. I held Dylan in my arms as we read (again) how the mother octopus dies about five months after laying her eggs. For 5 months she works hard to protect her eggs, yet once they hatch and she sees her babies off, she dies.
“That’s sad” Dylan said.
“Yes it is.” I said as I explained to him that “It’s the circle of life”.
Not a moment later Dylan looked at me and turned his lip under and asked if he was going to die soon.
“Oh no.” I said. “Not until you’re a really, really old man…maybe like 100 years old.” It was a quick response I had to his unexpected question. (then again, there really are no unexpected questions with a 4 year old…)
Dylan turns and looks at me with his sad lip and tears in his eyes and repeats…”I’m going to die when I’m an old man?”
“That’s many, many, many years from now.” I assured him.
I held Dylan close and kissed his head, coming from him, his words hit me hard. That’s not the last thing I wanted him to remember talking about right before bed, so I changed the subject back to the octopus and continued reading.
Dylan turned to me once more and looked at me as he spoke. “It’s all ok mom, it’s the circle of life.” He kissed me and not a moment later he was fast asleep in my arms.
I sat there holding my little boy as a tear ran down my cheek. Any mother knows, having a child, moments like that will just do that to you. It’s not an easy thing to break to a child, the fact of life and death, yet truth must be told to them sooner than later. The fact that our time is limited needs to be taught to children for many reasons. First of all it’s the cold hard truth and we always want to be as truthful as we can with our children. Secondly, talking to a child at a young age about making the most of their life will not only help them set higher standards for themselves, but I believe that instilling that in them young will help them avoid many mindless decisions later in life. A child will very easily forget, or never even realize if not taught, how precious their life really is. It is up to us, the parents, to teach them. Teach them slowly, gently, in a way you know your child will understand.
Thinking of Dylan’s question and his grown up response reminded me once again how fortunate we are to even be here in the first place. This is for anyone with or without children… Let’s enjoy this time. These moments of our life. Although not possible every waking minute, let’s try to embrace the now because whether you are taken young or blessed to live to be 100, life is short. It goes fast. Never should it be taken for granted. This moment…this ‘now’… is the only thing that’s certain. Make sure you find a way to make it matter.
